3 Things That Hit Differently When You're An Immigrant

I pondered for a while what the title for this thought-log should be – things that hit differently when you're living abroad or far away from home or away from your loved ones... But I couldn't find the compact term for 'settling somewhere (that has the potential to someday resemble a sense of home) far away from where you were born and raised – for which you occasionally yearn deeply – but cannot imagine returning to permanently yet wish could visit more often'.  

Thus, the term 'immigrant'.

Having been one for 12 years, that's 35% of my life (stop doing the math!), here are somethings that I've found hit quite differently when you're living oceans away from the people and places that ones used to be 'home'. 

1. Holidays

These are a double whammy – you can count on the mainstream holidays like Christmas, New Year, Easter, May Day, etc., to be celebrated widely (at least in the Western parts of the world), so, there's no shortage of festive vibes. But, you could be celebrating them alone, specially if you're single and live away from family. Plus, the sense of isolation is that much more heightened if you're living in a metropolis like Helsinki, where most people have moved to from another town, to which they proceed to escape to at the first sign of a long weekend.  

"Don't you have any friends you can celebrate these holidays with?", you may ask with a slightly raised eyebrow cleverly disguising your disgruntled disbelief at my incapacity to make a single friend in 12 years, who could take me in for a holiday once a year. Hold your judgements...

It just so happens that my BFF's are spread across the world too. Also, life after 30 is a bit more complex – people have commitments towards kids, pets, in-laws and so forth, ailing parents and grandparents, economical constraints, truly rational concerns of catching deadly viruses, to name a few. So, the solution is not as simple as to invite me or invite myself over. I've spent three Christmases alone, and they were absolutely miserable.

Then there are the non-mainstream holidays, which in my case are Sinhala and Hindu New Year, Wesak, Poya Days, etc. Of course, you try to make do and celebrate the ones you can with heaps of make shift food, traditions and stories that are warmly welcomed by friends, neighbours and co-workers – with commendable efforts of rocking up to your various partyesque gatherings to eat copious amounts of rice with spicy curries. But, you cannot help notice that all round you it's just another day in the Nordics. There's no aroma of caramelising treacle wafting through the air, no sounds of crackers, no visitors or visiting, no excessively indulgent meals around the table – nothing except the little bit of holiday spirit you've manage to muster up which somehow always falls short in comparison to the perfectly choreographed pictures everyone else is sharing on social media of their holiday celebrations.

On this note, if you are ever able to open up your next holiday shing-ding for one more person, please do. 

2. Parliamentary elections

This is a really interesting one – for some context, Finland recently held its elections resulting in world's youngest Prime Minster and internationally proclaimed political rockstar Sanna Marin being ousted by PM-elect Petteri Orpo from the National Coalition Party (NCP) which secured the highest vote. NCP is known for their robust economic policies and, of course, their history of getting into bed with the right-wing, anti-immigration True Finns party, who secured the second highest vote of this election and is (surely) starting to look like a very appealing bedfellow to NCP, yet, again.

As a resident of Finland plus someone deeply invested in politics, being a mere spectator to the ultimate democratic process that will have a significant impact on my fate, much more than those who voted, has been surreal, to say the least. 

"If you care so much, why don't you get the damn citizenship?", you might ask. I'm trying but until I pass the language test that'll open the door to becoming a true Finn, I think there's something to be said for giving long-term residents of a place the right to decide who's put in charge of their future. Don't you think? 

So, next time someone asks me why I'm invested in the United States' or UK's elections way more than the Finnish – first and foremost it's the drama. Secondly, the latter leaves me feeling way more on the outside looking in and I don't particularly enjoy that.

3. Unscheduled phone calls

I can already see your foreheads starting to wrinkle as you think, "Call? Who the heck calls people these days anyway?"

People who maintain long-distance, intergenerational relationships – i.e. my parents and I who speak for roughly 45mins - 1.5h (depending on the tea) every other day. And no, there's no shame in that. In fact, I also have 4 friends who live in different time zones with whom I exchange long phone calls with.

After years of trial and error, we've narrowed down the perfect call window to specific times throughout the week to fit time differences, work, gym, meal times, church and so forth – a tight yet perfectly convenient keeping-in-touch schedule if you may. So, depending on the day, time and messaging app I know exactly who's calling.

However, the flip side is that if that phone rings off-schedule you start panicking with every fibre of your being. It's that dreaded, unscheduled, unexpected call which could only mean one thing – someone is dead. Or, of course, your mom asking you to share a copy of your identity card for the nice lady at the bank. But, the first thought always is the very worst.

The paradox is that I equally dread the day when unscheduled phone calls, living within 30 minutes to the airport and always having money for a flight ticket back would not dictate my everyday life.

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The list of course can go on and on but for today I will stop here. Immigrant or not what are some of the things that hit you differently? Let me know.